I’ve always been a procrastinator. It’s one of the things that I’m very, very good at and it’s always served me reasonably well. I’m the type of person that if I start on a project too far in advance of when it’s due, I don’t do a good job and nothing comes out that’s of any quality at all. If I start something on a deadline crunch, everything usually comes out much easier. This is especially true of college papers and essays.
I have three due this week: one tomorrow and two on Wednesday. Two of which were finished by Monday at noon, which is a miracle for me. I have definitely perfected my skill of procrastination during my four years of college and given a few more terms, I could have an actual degree in it. An MP, a Masters in Procrastination.
Lucky for me, I will have time to further perfect my skill because after I graduate in June, I will have the summer off and then start graduate school this fall. Forty-eight credits in the MFA Nonfiction program at Portland State University should give me ample time to fully develop how to Procrastinate on the highest levels possible. I expect to be a certified expert.
I received the offer letter almost two weeks ago and turned in my acceptance last Wednesday. Although I didn’t receive the Graduate Assistantship that I was hoping for, I feel very fortunate that I was given a spot in the program. The MFA for Creative Writing at PSU is highly competitive; they only accept about 20% of applicants and although I knew my GPA and letters of recommendation put me in a favorable position, I had doubts about actually being accepted. Now that I have, I’ve been in kind of a weird space about it. Part of me is absolutely thrilled and the other part is questioning my sanity. Can I really do this? Will my family be able to handle two more years of this on an even more intense level? Is taking on this kind of debt load worth it in the long run? Should I pursue a graduate degree in something more practical like Public Policy or get a MAT? Should I take the damn LSAT and go to law school instead? Am I completely crazy for wanting to do any of this?
I guess the reality is that there are no good answers when one is contemplating the future. There is no guaranteed road map that shows the way from Point A to Point B is to travel via Point C. If there were, people would be a lot less confused and frankly, probably pretty damn bored. There are a few things that I do know for sure and that is that education, any type of higher education, is not just valuable, it’s invaluable. To learn is to understand and to know about the world and our place in it outside of a lens of ignorance for the purpose of deeper growth and experience. I’ve stated here before that no matter what, the knowledge that I’ve accumulated over the past four years is something that can never be taken from me, (assuming I don’t get a massive head or brain injury,) and the cost of that knowledge is worth however long I will repay my student loans.
I know what I want to do and I know what I need in order to be able to even try to do it. Whether or not my MFA leads me to fulfilling my dream as a writer and a teacher remains to be seen but either way, I don’t want to regret not doing it. Not going for it doesn’t seem to be an option. Cher told me, “You’ve been doing what you’re supposeed to do most of your life. Do what you want to do and the rest will work out.” I hope she’s right. I think she’s right. No, I know she’s right. Yes, we’ll go with that one.
Besides, if I don’t go to graduate school, however will I further perfect Procrastination?
*This Blog Post brought to you because I have a ten page final to write by Wednesday at 5:00.