Hurtful Things

Hurtful Things: Leaning Against
Sei Shonagon’s Hateful Things

One has hopes and dreams that are thwarted by the decisions of someone else. If one is capable and strong, one can make them happen anyway. If one is heartbroken and stuck, the situation is very hurtful indeed.

One finds that the joint checking account has been shorted $300 for the month, making the budget quite tight, creating new worries.

Someone has fallen in love with another woman. Since this someone is already married, the situation is very complicated. It would seem that prevailing minds and morals would guide one to make decisions that are respectful and considerate to the injured party, but sadly this is not the case. Oh, how hurtful!

A lady sits alone in a sushi restaurant that she’s visited every week. She’s never ordered for herself so she sits and stares at the menu. “What are you in the mood for?” her wife would ask. “You pick,” would be her answer. So many years of eating sushi perfected the lady’s use of chopsticks—a very good piece of social capital. She sits there alone eating cucumber salad and sipping Pinot Gris while reading this week’s New Yorker, surrounded by couples.

I hate the sight of couples that are in love and holding hands or maybe having a kiss while saying, “I love you,” and “You’re so hot!” Don’t they realize that someone around them may have been left recently and doesn’t want to see their public displays of affection? I find it most distasteful.

To reconnect with an old childhood friend who lives 100 miles away. To have drinks with that friend and then keep from your wife the hundreds of text messages you exchange. To lie to your wife and have an affair, and then leave her after knowing the friend for six days—oh, how hurtful!

One goes to the doctor for an STD screening to have a lump discovered in her breast.

An admirer invites a lady to dinner and when she arrives, he is not what she thought he would be. She feels like running out of the restaurant.

The waiter comes to the table and asks if she is coming. “No,” she replied, “She left me,” and he looks back awkwardly. “I’m sorry,” he offers. “Me too,” is the standard reply. One can almost feel the thickness in the air each time the story is told and one finds it hurtful to the extreme.

One has been foolish enough to think that dating again might be a healthy distraction from
her pain—it isn’t.

A radiologist comes into the room to deliver the news, “We found two masses in your breast,” she says. Suddenly the world begins to close in and there is no air to breathe or light to see. A core needle biopsy and surgery consult is ordered and you wonder how you will face such a thing without your wife.

One takes her lover on the sailboat she owns with her wife—disgusting and hurtful behavior!

A woman makes love to another woman’s wife as if she is entitled to do so.
Such a person is hurtful, and so, indeed, is anyone, who does the same.

Equally hurtful is knowing your wife is socializing with her new girlfriend with your mutual friends and laughing and holding her hand—kissing her. She comes to stay with your wife every weekend—her bath towel hanging next to your wife’s—her toothbrush sits on the sink—her clothes hang next to the ones of yours that your wife took with her when she left.

Very hurtful is finding out your wife is taking the new girlfriend to Mexico to meet your in-laws.

Indeed one’s attachment to a woman depends largely on the elegance of her leave taking. When she jumps from your life on day of the Winter Solstice cloaked in a shroud of lies and deceit, and chooses to be with someone else, someone she barely knows, when Christmas is ruined for everyone because of the dark sadness that lingers over the family home, when she replaces you in her heart and in her bed without any regard to your feelings—one really begins to hate her.

First Day of School (Again!)

I received my official degree last week. I feel very official about it.

Today begins Fall Term 2012. This time I get to start as a graduate student and a Writing Intensive Course Assistant. The class is a Physics/Science class and there are 75 students, there to fulfill their Writing Across Curriculum requirement. They will write essays on two science fiction novels. Science fiction is not really my genre of choice, but I’m adaptable. I’m excited and nervous and can’t believe I’ve made it this far.

Tomorrow begins my first day of graduate studies. Because I’m some kind of Masochist (this seems to be a common theme lately,) I’m taking twelve credits. Twelve. Three classes.

I can do this. I can do anything for ten weeks. This is what I keep telling myself anyway.

I’ve received a lot of emails and messages from people who have also decided to go back to school later in life (we call them Non-traditional College Students,) and have been told that they’ve been inspired by my journey through academia. This thrills me to no end. I have also been inspired and continue to be inspired by the people around me and know that I still have a lot to learn, and hopefully to teach.

So I guess I’ll hit the ground running!

Gladuation

This week has been absolutely surreal for me. I sit here writing this post as a college graduate, a day I hoped would come, but thought something would interfere and keep me from it. (I wrote an entire column on my fears of not graduating for PQ Monthly and the issue is now available. I don’t want to plagiarize myself here!)

In January 2008, with the support and encouragement of my wife, I enrolled in two community college classes–an English and a writing class. I was almost the oldest student in the class and was surprisingly challenged by the work and the expectations from the instructors. I did well and I learned a lot and suddenly fell in love with Literature and learning to write. I’ve always been a writer. I published my first book when I was just a young girl–it was a book of poetry for my grandfather covered in green construction paper and tied with blue yarn. I told everyone that I would someday be a writer to which my one or both of my parents replied, “Well, that’s not going to pay the bills.” I settled for focusing on Journalism the first time I went to college, but found that my college experience was more about the parties I was attending and much less about the classes I was supposed to be learning from. I left my first year of college on academic probation and a list of poor grades on my transcript that would follow me forever. And let me reiterate that point. Those grades when I was 18-years-old still sit there staring at me each and every time I run an unofficial transcript. They were part of my transfer grades when I applied to Portland State University and kept me as a provisional student for an entire term. The only way I could be admitted was if I had letters of recommendation and completed the term in good standing. The fact that the poor grades were twenty years before had no bearing.

I did well the two terms I was at community college, and was very anxious to move on to a university. Because of my provisional status, when I started at Portland State for the Fall 2008 term, I was only allowed to take two classes so I enrolled in two more classes online through the community college in order to have a full schedule. Once that term was finished, my transfer GPA came up, I was in good university standing and was fully admitted and was allowed to declare a major. I knew I would be an English major and minor in writing.

Portland State is a liberal arts university that focuses on academic diversity. Each student is required to take three classes outside of his or her major and then of those three, chooses one to take three more focused classes in that subject. I chose Child and Family Studies, Sexualities and Women’s Studies. My focus was on Child and Family Studies. I mention this because without that diversity requirement, I may have finished a bit earlier, (PSU students generally take more than four years to complete a Bachelors degree unless they also take summer classes,) but I would have missed out on a lot of learning; I’m grateful for the extra education I wouldn’t have had otherwise.

I remember seeing my English adviser for the first time and looking at the long list of requirements that I still needed to fulfill. Along with the diversity requirements and my major and minor classes, I also needed to satisfy my B.A. requirements, which included a foreign language through the 203 level and a Science or Math class. I knew I could handle the English and writing classes but Spanish and Science? I didn’t know how I would do it. Spanish was the bane of my existence for five terms (I skipped over one term, thinking I could handle it, Ha!) Somehow I managed to get through and discovered how to properly use the Pass/No Pass credits I was allowed! I finally started to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

This last year of school has been amazing. I’ve had the opportunity to study and focus on subjects I was really interested in: Advanced Critical Theory, Memoir, Essay and Composition writing, Philosophy, Virginia Woolf and two of my favorite classes, Genocide in Literature in Film and Environmental Ethics, both of which profoundly changed my life. (More on that another time.) I’ve been taught by some of the most brilliant people I’ve ever met and pushed to think and expand my mind in ways I couldn’t have imagined four years ago. My education has been the greatest gift I’ve ever given myself and I am enormously grateful that I’ve had this opportunity.

None of this has come without a lot of work, time and sacrifice. It’s truly been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done and without the support and love of my family, there is no way I would have finished. They were patient with me when I needed to study or write papers, they understood when I needed to take an evening class (although they complained a bit about not having me cook dinner!) they reminded me that I was capable and even put up with my constant pressure to achieve and when I complained about any less than perfect grades. Hearing my daughter say to a friend, “My mom is the smartest person I know” elucidated to me that I absolutely made the right decision to earn my degree. My hope is that I’ve modeled for them the value of education and the importance to attain a degree, no matter how long it may take to achieve.

This week has been like living some kind of dream, floating through the days with one good thing following another. Last Sunday Cher gave me a beautiful graduation party and I was surrounded by so many of the people I love and cherish. On Tuesday I took my last final; on Friday and Saturday we will celebrate some more with my fellow graduates. On Sunday it will be official. I will wait in the Rose Garden Arena in my cap, gown and honor cords to have my degrees  conferred: Bachelors of Arts in English with a Writing Minor and Arts & Letters, summa cum laude.

It’s a very, very sweet victory.

Procrastination: A Skill I Perfected in College

I’ve always been a procrastinator. It’s one of the things that I’m very, very good at and it’s always served me reasonably well.  I’m  the type of person that if I start on a project too far in advance of when it’s due, I don’t do a good job and nothing comes out that’s of any quality at all. If I start something on a deadline crunch, everything usually comes out much easier. This is especially true of college papers and essays.

I have three due this week: one tomorrow and two on Wednesday. Two of which were finished by Monday at noon, which is a miracle for me. I have definitely perfected my skill of procrastination during my four years of college and given a few more terms, I could have an actual degree in it. An MP, a Masters in Procrastination.

Lucky for me, I will have time to further perfect my skill because after I graduate in June, I will have the summer off and then start graduate school this fall. Forty-eight credits in the MFA Nonfiction program at Portland State University should give me ample time to fully develop how to Procrastinate on the highest levels possible. I expect to be a certified expert.

I received the offer letter almost two weeks ago and turned in my acceptance last Wednesday. Although I didn’t receive the Graduate Assistantship that I was hoping for, I feel very fortunate that I was given a spot in the program. The MFA for Creative Writing at PSU is highly competitive; they only accept about 20% of applicants and although I knew my GPA and letters of recommendation put me in a favorable position, I had doubts about actually being accepted. Now that I have, I’ve been in kind of a weird space about it. Part of me is absolutely thrilled and the other part is questioning my sanity. Can I really do this? Will my family be able to handle two more years of this on an even more intense level? Is taking on this kind of debt load worth it in the long run? Should I pursue a graduate degree in something more practical like Public Policy or get a MAT? Should I take the damn LSAT and go to law school instead? Am I completely crazy for wanting to do any of this?

Oh probably.

I guess the reality is that there are no good answers when one is contemplating the future. There is no guaranteed road map that shows the way from Point A to Point B is to travel via Point C. If there were, people would be a lot less confused and frankly, probably pretty damn bored. There are a few things that I do know for sure and that is that education, any type of higher education, is not just valuable, it’s invaluable. To learn is to understand and to know about the world and our place in it outside of a lens of ignorance for the purpose of deeper growth and experience. I’ve stated here before that no matter what, the knowledge that I’ve accumulated over the past four years is something that can never be taken from me, (assuming I don’t get a massive head or brain injury,) and the cost of that knowledge is worth however long I will repay my student loans.

I know what I want to do and I know what I need in order to be able to even try to do it. Whether or not my MFA leads me to fulfilling my dream as a writer and a teacher remains to be seen but either way, I don’t want to regret not doing it. Not going for it doesn’t seem to be an option. Cher told me, “You’ve been doing what you’re supposeed to do most of your life. Do what you want to do and the rest will work out.” I hope she’s right. I think she’s right. No, I know she’s right. Yes, we’ll go with that one.

Besides, if I don’t go to graduate school, however will I further perfect Procrastination?

*This Blog Post brought to you because I have a ten page final to write by Wednesday at 5:00.

“But I have to go home and read the Bible.”

I never thought I would ever utter those words but lately I’ve been saying it a lot.

I’m currently reading Exodus for my “Bible as Literature” class. Last week I read Genesis.

I’ve read Genesis before but this time I  read it in a fun way–as what it is, a piece of literature with God as the main character. We are going to track how God as a character changes throughout the text and put the text into historical context. Right now, I have to say that He is not a very likable character and also not a very reliable narrator.The first few pages reveal blatant inconsistencies without any real regard to structure or form. If God wrote the Bible, I suggest he take a few writing classes before making another attempt at authorship. For real.

I find it fascinating that so many people use this book to make decisions about their lives and allow it to form what they believe. It’s used to discriminate against entire groups of people, it’s been used to justify poor treatment of others, and oppress women. It’s used to form radical churches and Christian Cults. There are so many wonderfully written texts throughout history that also tell stories about life and how to live well without acrimonious language and threats. Texts that actually make sense.

After learning that the first five books of the Bible actually came from (at least) four different sources, I began to have a much better understanding. It would seem that the texts from different sources were cut up and then put back together into one. If you read in Genesis the story of Noah and the arc, (for example,) you will see that God is referred to by two different names: God and Jehovah. The reference changes from paragraph to paragraph and the same story is told two different ways. There are two separate references to God’s covenant with Noah, each of them slightly different. These “two-source” stories are prevalent and entirely interesting. It’s quite amazing to me how different churches and ideologies have so seamlessly adopted (and distorted) certain biblical ideals and flagrantly left others behind. I suppose certain ideals, even those adopted by radical churches and Christian Cults have some redeeming value and offer some comfort to those who may make what they deem as a mistake (like having simultaneous extra-marital affairs with two different men) Some biblical teachings offer a way for redemption, which is good for those who may need it.

Fall Term began in full swing and because I am getting down to the wire so my choices in classes are quite limited. This term, in addition to “The Bible as Literature,” I am taking “Advanced Theory” focusing on Adorno and Zizek and “Advanced Composition.” All three of my classes are quite challenging but all very, very interesting and I’m looking forward to a great term.

I realize that I say this a lot, but I’m so grateful to have the opportunity to earn my degree. I’m so grateful to my wife for helping me to realize this goal and I could not be doing it without her. I have always valued education; it has always been something that to me, is the tenet for living life fully and having a deeper understanding to its meaning. I regret not making it a priority earlier in my life. I know if I had it to over again, I would have done them differently. I’d have my PhD today; I would have already learned about “Dialectic Enlightenment” and Žižekian Theory. I would already understand the Bible and the elements of advanced composition. But I did not.

Luckily I did have a good starting point. Luckily I didn’t foolishly drop out of the tenth grade and never obtain a high school diploma. Luckily, I  did do amazing things during my younger years that gave me fantastic life experiences that served me well and luckiest of all: I knew that obtaining my college degree and an advanced degree was so much more important than just having a piece a paper that said so. My degrees may not make me a lot of money. They may not lead me to fame. They may not be as “practical” as other degrees, but I’ve learned how to critically think and I intend on critically thinking for a very long time.

 

 

Spring Term

Today was the first day of spring term. I am taking Spanish 203 (my last Spanish class,) and two 400 level Writing and English classes.

I can honestly say that in my English class, (Postcolonial Modernism,) I learned more in one class than I did in my last two terms of college. My professor is amazingly smart and even though she seems to require about 100 plus pages of reading per night, I think it will be very, very challenging but a great educational experience.

My Spanish class is not with the instructor I signed up for; apparently there was a last minute change and this particular teacher has the reputation for failing people. This causes me a TREMENDOUS amount of anxiety and I nearly had to leave because I couldn’t breathe. I have decided that I will get a tutor and I will trust my friend Britni who is in my class and thinks it will all be okay. If it doesn’t go well. I’ll just die. It will be okay. Britni says so.

My writing class and my writing teacher seem fabulous. EXCEPT. After about an hour and twenty minutes into class I had to go pee. I left and when I came back the professor announced, “I don’t mean to embarrass you (to me) but I tend to power through the entire hour and fifty minute class without a break so I suggest that everyone ‘empty their bladders’ before coming to class so they don’t need to take a bathroom break.

Really.

Luckily, I don’t embarrass so easy.

I truly think that this may be the most challenging term I’ve had thus far. My sweetest/bestest friend Sarah says that I’m ready and prepared for it and I hope she’s right because I don’t want to fail. I know that I can do this and I know I’ll get through–I’m just glad that I have the support I need.

Cher left for Honduras last night and arrived there this morning safely–I hope that the rest of her trip is just as uneventful and that she has an amazing time. Until she gets back, I will hold my breath and say my prayers to a God that I don’t believe in for her safe care and return.

And while she’s gone, I will look for a Spanish tutor.

School Bells

I start school tomorrow. Technically this should be my last year for my undergrad work because I’m counting on going to school next summer to finish. Tomorrow will be the first day of my last term as a junior, which will make me a senior when I’m finished in December, which sounds better than this is my junior year. I’m off a term as you can see from everyone else. This is not a big deal except that I won’t “graduate” in the traditional way with the cap and the gown and what not. That’s okay with me. Who wants to see a 42 year old walking at graduation?

This morning I woke with a migraine, which is not conducive to the amount of stuff that I need to get done today but I’m hoping the pill I took will help to cure it and I can accomplish all of the things I should have accomplished last week and the week before but didn’t because I was plagued emotionally. I am armed with a list so I’m ready to go. Right after I finish writing this blog post.

I like to make lists on post-it notes. You probably didn’t know that about me and why should you? It’s something I do privately. I privately kill trees because I have to write on little pieces of paper that stick to my desk. When I am finished with that list, I throw it away. Yes, I have a post-it application on my Mac but it’s not the same.

Today’s list includes things like finishing my resume and planning meals for the rest of the week. I’m looking for a job you see, hence the need for the resume update. I’d like to work somewhere on Monday and Wednesdays during the day. I’d like a job that utilizes my mad skills for the internet and social media and writing. I’d like to be paid well and have a desk where I can put a photo and some flowers. Yes, please. That’s what I would like. My desk can be my desk at home–that would be fine and probably even more ideal. I have a desk. And an office. That would work. The only problem with that scenario is that I also have two dogs who bark incessantly throughout the day–causing me stress because I constantly have to tell them to shut up.

Perhaps I can figure out something to solve that problem when I start my well-paid/flexible/interesting and important job on Mondays and Wednesdays that I do from my home office? Doggie Daycare maybe. So yes, resume is on the list.

Cher and I had a wonderful weekend. We rode our bikes a lot–everywhere on Saturday and it was super fun. We went to the farmer’s market and garage sales, coffee and ran errands and had dinner and beer. When we came home at six, we showered and put on our jammies and watched movies. It was delightful. Much more delightful than today–with the migraine and the lists.

~~~~~

I took a break from writing this post to heat up a frozen burrito because I hear that eating burritos can sometimes help migraines (making that part up, I was just hungry.) While I was waiting for my burrito to cook in the oven I decided to clean my kitchen cabinets. I threw away two boxes of opened girl scout cookies from last spring, four half-sleeves of opened ritz crackers from god-knows-when, and approximately five pounds of candy from: last Halloween, Valentines Day, Easter and Halsey’s birthday (which was in May.) I decided then that maybe the “snack” cabinet shouldn’t be the one cabinet in the kitchen that is three feet deep where things migrate to the rear, never to be seen again. This called for “kitchen-cabinet-re-arranging” and YES! I do know how to procrastinate.

The good news? My kitchen cabinets are clean, neat and organized AND my headache is better (thanks little melt-under-your-tongue-migraine-pills and iced tea.) The bad news? My post-it note list is still on my home office desk and tomorrow morning, my wife won’t know where the coffee or the coffee cups are.

Note: I will NOT procrastinate when I have my new well-paid, very important and interesting new job working from home on Mondays and Wednesdays.

 

As I was saying.

матрациAbout Summer? It hasn’t come yet. Everyone on Twitter and Facebook and in real life are all complaining about the weather and I get it. The weather totally sucks ass. My garden is getting to look so beautiful but things can not grow without sunshine and we have not had any sunshine to speak of for longer than a day at a time. And it rains all the time and I’m totally sick of it.

It’s useless to complain about the weather because there isn’t a thing one can do about it, but it certainly does make one feel a bit better and I do take some comfort in knowing that a month from now it will be over 100 degrees and my air conditioner will freeze up and I’ll be miserable and hot. I can’t wait.

There’s a lot going on in Portland today. It’s PRIDE weekend of course and that’s always fun. It is also the Rose City Rollers Championship Bout! Cher’s team, the Guns N Rollers will be playing for either third or fourth place, (We’re Number Three!!!) I’m hoping that they will win so that they are not the winners of losers two years in a row, but however it turns out, it will be an incredibly well-fought and well-played game, I’m sure.

I’m helping to put together the new blog for the league and have recruited some very good writers who are contributing some amazing material, check it out, link to it, comment. Please.

Also my latest column came out yesterday in Just Out and it may be interesting to the fellow RSG’s out there. Please let me know what you think.

Finally, my grades came out the other day and I’m happy to report that I completed another term of higher education with a 4.0 GPA. Not bad for a deadbeat I suppose! It is a very good feeling to work hard towards something and know that it is all for a good reason! Life is pretty damn good!!!

How To Be a Deadbeat Mom

My sniffle turned into a sinus infection and a possible case of Pertussis. I didn’t have the Pertussis test because I had already take antibiotics for the sinus infection and they would have been effective for the Pertussis if I did have it. Instead I got loaded up on a variety of cough medicines and an inhaler. I scare people a little when I cough and it’s annoying. I feel like I’m going to puke.

But it’s much better and even though I got a little behind in my school work, I ramped up pretty quick and I’m now looking at one more week of classes and two finals until I’m finished with the term. This makes me so very happy for so many reasons but mostly so I can just take a breath.

Despite what some people may think, going to school full-time and managing everything else that I manage in my life, (the list is too long to give justice by making a list,) is one of the very hardest things that I have ever done in my life. I realize that I set my expectations high for my achievement, but I don’t think that I could do it any other way. I want to do well. I want to learn everything that I can so that I can pass that knowledge on to my children and to others in the world. This is how a society elevates–through education. Ignorance breeds apathy and I don’t want to be ignorant or apathetic. I want to make a difference in the world and I will do that by working hard, learning a lot and passing that knowledge on in whatever situation I can.

Recently I was told that my going to school full time is a luxury and that my earning an advanced degree is not beneficial to my girls.

Obviously this is a value judgment and that needs to be taken into consideration. It is also a judgment made in ignorance, which is very sad for the person who made it. Finally, it is a testament of exactly why my getting an advanced degree benefits my girls.

I was also referred to as a Dead-Beat Mom. Hmmm. I thought. If I am a dead-beat mom, I should probably know how to be one and let others know as well, so I compiled a list.

How To Be A Dead-Beat Mom
By: The Recovering Straight Girl

1. Give up your career and educational ambitions (even if you haven’t yet figured out what those ambitions are) in order to stay at home and raise your children. (This alone qualifies you as a deadbeat mom because you won’t be bringing in any money and contributing to the household financially.)

2. Support your partner emotionally, physically, intellectually and spiritually as he or she focuses on his or her career and educational ambitions while you stay at home and raise your children.This includes but is not limited to: caring for the home, meals, shopping, childcare, education for the children, social calendar etc. so that your partner doesn’t need to spend any time worrying about any of these things and can focus solely on his or her educational or career goals. (Really, what do you DO all day long?)

3. During this time, allow your partner to financially support you. Loser.

4. When you eventually go through a divorce, accept the state ordered spousal and child support for you and your children. (Fully take advantage of your ex when you should get off your lazy ass and get a job making a salary large enough to support you and your children. What? You haven’t worked outside of the home in over ten years? What? You don’t have a college degree? Who’s problem is that? Obviously you should have been DOING something with your life for the last ten years.)

5. Re-marry/partner. Share household duties and expenses with your significant other. Whatever you negotiate with your current spouse/partner is up for approval from your ex.  Relying on your partner to provide for the girls is not acceptable.

6. Go back to college to earn your degree. This is the ultimate sign of a dead beat as going to university and going to college is a LUXURY, and really . . . How does a masters degree help the girls? We just don’t see how they’ll benefit from you getting a masters degree, most likely eight years from now. I actually don’t think you’ll graduate at all, hopefully you’ll prove me wrong. But so what if you do, how does that benefit the girls?

7. Be sure to put your financial WANTS (like getting a college degree) ahead of your children’s financial NEEDS (like pursuing a hobby, extra-curricular activity or outside interest.)

8. Take out thousands of dollars in student loans so that you can afford to give your children the things that you think they NEED (food, clothes, shoes, shelter, lunch money, deodorant, school fees, etc.) and many of the things that you think they WANT (more clothes, make-up, straighteners, laptops, cell phones, dinners out, camping trips, summer camps, etc.) Paying for the girls expenses out of your financial aid money is not acceptable.

9. Try to teach your children that valuing love, friendship, community, the environment and education are more important than having everything that we want when we want it. Support your children emotionally. Probably every deadbeat dad, or in your case deadbeat mom says this.

10. Finally, don’t have a job while going to school full-time and taking care of your family. Even if you do work part-time, make sure that whatever it is that you do (like say, freelance write,) isn’t acceptable to your ex. You choose not to work full time, you choose not to work part time, you choose not to work at all. Meanwhile, everyone around you picks up the slack so that the girls can have things that they are accustom to.

There you go. Now you can also strive to be a deadbeat mom. It’s a lot of hard work but if you follow the steps I’ve outlined, you should be able to achieve your goal.

The commentary is italics is not my own writing. They were lifted from someone else and were sent with all due respect.

Keep me abreast on how your progress is, I’d love to hear about it!

Baby it's Cold Outside!

It’s freezing in Portland. Like really cold. I don’t mind so much though because it is also sunny, which in Portland in December is like a little holiday miracle.

I crashed my car on Thanksgiving. I made a turn too fast and smashed into a tree. Can you believe that? And I’m a really good driver and very careful; this was my very first major accident. My car is at the body shop place and it will take a week to fix her. It totally sucks. No. No one was hurt. It was just Cher and I and the dogs but we were all very fine, the car did its job protecting us. I was thankful that we weren’t hurt and thankful that we’re well insured because fixing a squished car ain’t cheap people.

My column came out the other day and I hope you’ll read it. Here’s the link. It makes me sad to read it myself so I’ll warn you that it’s sad but I think that it’s important to talk about stuff like this. It’s about suicide and I wish I would have mentioned in the piece that the month where most suicides take place is January, which is just around the corner. People get bummed out and depressed around the holidays (which is kind of ironic considering that the holidays are supposed to be so joyous!) If you or someone you know is someone who gets depressed around the holidays, please reach out to them or talk to someone you trust and love. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, email me and I’ll talk to you. You can reach me here.

After you read my sad piece, read my friend Sarah’s piece about wine! It’s amazing!

I have finals this week so I need to bust out three papers in the next few days and it’s probably something I should start now. Wish me luck please, I’m teetering on getting a B in one of my classes and I’m not happy about it. If you’re in the neighborhood, please drop off some candy for me. Candy helps me to think better. If you’re in the neighborhood at night, drop off some wine. I’m out and don’t have time to go to Trader Joe’s. Red please. Thank you.