Why I’m better off than I was four years ago . . .

The Dems are having their convention. Tonight, President Obama will receive his party’s nomination for the upcoming presidential election against Mitt Romney. Last week the Republicans had their convention and because I’m obviously some kind of Masochist, I watched some of it. I was pretty much disgusted the entire time and actually felt physically ill.

This convention is better.

I have been inspired, moved to tears, hopeful and once again happy to be a Democrat in America. It’s true that the president has disappointed me a little on a few things; to me he’s not nearly liberal enough, but I also understand that it’s politics and no matter who is in office, there are going to be politics that I don’t always agree with. The fundamentals of the president’s term so far, have been good and I can honestly say that I am better off than I was four years ago.

Why I’m better off than I was four years ago:

• I have a college education that wouldn’t have been possible without the federal and state financial aid and student loans that were made available to me.
• If I were so inclined, I could join the military and openly serve without fear of being dishonorably discharged because of my sexual orientation.
• The validity of my relationship has been recognized by the leader of our nation as one that should be held in the same regard as my heterosexual marriage was.
• I have restored faith that our home won’t be worth less than we owe on it when we sell in a few years.
• Because of low interest rates, I was able to consolidate the small amount of debt that I had at less than 3%.
• My credit card company is restricted in how high it can raise my rates.
• I am ensured that life saving tests and preventative care will be available to me if I need them.
• I will not be charged more for the same medical care because I’m a woman.
• I know that my wife, my daughters, and I have access to birth control, including Plan B.
• I know that my wife, my daughters, and I have access to a safe and legal abortion if it were ever to be necessary.

In many ways, I’ve always been a one-issue voter: if a candidate is at all opposed to a woman having control over her own reproductive health, I won’t vote for him or her. This is of course true in this election as well, although there are other things that scare me just as much, including the chance that 10% of our population will be pushed back into the closet and stripped of whatever rights we’ve managed to obtain and hold onto thus far, millions of people losing healthcare coverage and promising young people being deported, even though they’ve lived in this country most of their lives.

But for me it is, and always will be, about a woman’s right to choose. I honestly don’t understand how any person who has a daughter, a uterus or both, could ever consider voting for a Republican this year; why would any woman vote against her own best interests? Why would any woman want the government to control what grows in her body? Why would any woman concede to being forced to undergo unnecessary medical procedures? Why would any women be okay with being forced to be pregnant against her will? Why would any woman agree to be paid less than a man for the same job? It’s very confusing to me.

The speakers at this year’s convention have blown me away (Warren/Castro 2016!) and I’ve spent most of the time in tears. President Clinton last night? Amazing. I’m sure tonight will be no different and I look forward to it with vigor.

But for now, all I can say is:

Four More Years! Sí, se puede!

Chick-Fil-A-Fail

Although I’ve not yet blogged about it, I became a vegetarian about four months ago. At this point, I will still eat fish as long as I know where it comes from. Even before I became a vegetarian (technically I guess I’m a Pescatarian,) I would only eat at a fast-food restaurant if it was Burgerville (I will still eat there, they have an amazing white bean burger.) Burgerville is a Pacific Northwest company that strives to use fresh, local and sustainable products for their food which is not made of fillers or a bunch of artificial crap. For a “fast-food” restaurant, they manage to keep it real. Besides, their mission is “Serve With Love” and really, that’s pretty awesome.

Although I wouldn’t consider myself a  health nut by any stretch of the imagination, I truly feel like eating at other fast-food establishments is just as bad as eating poison and most of the people who eat fast-food don’t realize just how bad it is for them. They eat it because it’s cheap, easy and well, fast. Additionally most of the people who eat fast-food are also poor and I feel that supporting an industry that profits on the ignorance and susceptibility of the poor is wrong. We shouldn’t have a society that makes bad food cheap and good food expensive; it should be the other way around.

I don’t eat chickens and I don’t eat at fast-food restaurants so I would never be inclined to walk into a Chick-Fil-A for any reason.

I also try very hard to not give money to businesses and individuals who will use that money to hurt me and my family.

The company’s President or CEO or whatever he is gave his opinion that he believed in “traditional marriage”, which is completely his right. He gives money to organizations that not only “defend traditional marriage” but also actively try to prevent certain citizens of this country from being able to have the same rights as other citizens of this country. That’s also his right but his “freedom of speech” is called discrimination and no matter how hard people try to wrap themselves in their faith and in their bible, it is still discrimination. Chick-Fil-A also donates money to organizations that believe in “repairative therapy” for gay and lesbian children, believing that these children (and all gay people) are sinners and need to change their sexual orientation to be pleasing to God. Donating money to organizations that actively hurt and discriminate people is also his right, but it doesn’t make it okay.

Who are these people who speak for God and for what He wants? Who are these people who label me as: lost, a sinner, depraved, disgusting. I read a comment on a blog today that said that “all homosexuals will burn in Hell for their sins.” Really? Who is that woman to stand in as God’s decision-maker?

My friend Dana posted this on her Facebook status today:

My one and only post about Chick Fil A: For those people who went and spent money at one of those locations yesterday and claimed they were supporting free speech but don’t have a stance on gay marriage, your money just went to a business that donates money to fund a bill which continues to legalize the killing of gays in Uganda. The company also donated more than $2 million to groups who make it their mission to attack the gay community through lies and distortions. These groups push several false notions from homosexuality is connected to pedophilia to the idea that gays can change their orientation (which I wouldn’t even if i could. Women are beautiful). Chick Fil A has also donated thousands upon thousands to fight marriage equality. I find it amusing that you would defend the 1st Amendment and Freedom of Speech, yet you’ll support a company who has no problem publicly admitting they would like to deny a “child of god” his or her inalienable rights. So if you don’t think you have a stance on these issues, money talks and you just said more than a mouth full of chicken by spending a penny at that restaurant.

This isn’t about one man’s right to “freedom of speech,” or supporting a business’s right to operate how it wants to operate. Yes, Mr. Cathy has a right to free speech and a right to conduct business how he wants and a right to believe what he wants. He also has the right to not be discriminated against and to legally marry his wife. It must be nice to be entitled to all of those rights.

But while people are all up in arms about Mr. Cathy’s rights and Chick-Fil-A’s rights they are forgetting something very important: the rights of a marginalized minority in this country to be treated equally. What about our rights? What about the rights of my family? Fighting for the rights of some while denying the rights of others is wrong, no matter how one tries to spin it. So while Sarah Palin and right-winged, conservative, “Christian” flock into Chick-Fil-A and eat unhealthy food that was produced through the suffering of others (people and chickens,) in order to support Mr. Cathy’s rights, they are at the same time, actively trying to take away mine.

Perhaps Chick-Fil-A should take a lesson from Burgerville and “Serve With Love” instead of supporting hate.

Flip Flop

When I was a little girl, I wore flip-flops all summer long. I realize that some people still refer to flip-flops as thongs and they shouldn’t, for so many reasons. Anyway, I used to name my flip-flops. The left one was Flip and the right one was Flop. My mother would ask me, “Where are Flip and Flop?” and I would find them and slip them on my feet. I still love flip-flops and now as a grown up lady, I buy flip-flops in all different colors and some with higher heels. I have my dress flip-flops and my everyday ones. I especially love the pair that have crystals along the top–pretty! Love the flip-flops and frankly, I don’t trust a person who doesn’t (unless of course you have some weird foot or toe problem.)

I thought it was funny when a bit ago when President Obama came out in support for marriage equality that people called him a flip-flopper. What does marriage equality have to do with footwear? Oh, then I realized that they meant that he flip-flopped on the issue, meaning he changed his mind about what he believed. And he’s being criticized for this? Don’t people change their mind about what they believe all the time? Isn’t that a positive thing? If we stick with what we believe our entire lives, how are we supposed to grow and change? Isn’t that the purpose of life? To evolve in our thought, mind and heart?

He also said that some of his change of heart and change of mind came from speaking to his children.

You know, Malia and Sasha, they have friends whose parents are same-sex couples. There have been times where Michelle and I have been sitting around the dinner table and we’re talking about their friends and their parents and Malia and Sasha, it wouldn’t dawn on them that somehow their friends’ parents would be treated differently. It doesn’t make sense to them and frankly, that’s the kind of thing that prompts a change in perspective.

Change in perspective.

That is the key point here. He had a change in perspective.

Everything in our lives is about perception and perspective. Everything. Think I’m wrong? I’m not. There are very few issues that don’t come down to perspective and perspective changes all of the time. The entire evolution of our country has been based on a change of perspective.

Slavery Good
Slavery Bad

Segregation Good
Segregation Bad

Equal Rights Bad
Equal Rights Good

Eight Hour Work Week Day Bad
Eight Hour Work Week Day Good

Prohibition Bad
Prohibition Good
Prohibition Bad Again

Child Labor Laws Bad
Child Labor Laws Good

Beating Children Good
Beating Children Bad

Beating Wives Good
Beating Wives Bad

Birth Control Bad
Birth Control Good
Birth Control Bad Again According to Wackos

Short Dresses Bad
Short Dresses Good
Short Dresses Bad Again
Short Dresses Good Again
Really, Really Short Dresses? Jury’s Out.

Those are some examples of the bigger changes in perspective that we, collectively as a country have experienced over the past several decades.Personally, we have a change in perspective about people, things and issues all the time. You once absolutely loved that pastel floral couch that you bought in 1989 and now you laugh at yourself for even buying it. My hair in the 1980′s? What the hell? Ex Boyfriends/Girlfriends/Spouses? Major change in perspective. Those are simple things that we do every single day.

I used to consider myself a very spiritual person who spent many, many years trying to figure out God and religion. I studied, became immersed in several different churches over the years from the Catholic church to the Episcopal to the Lutheran, to the non-denominational to New Thought and finally to The United Church of Christ. Then I went to college and a whole lot of things opened up in my mind, one being that I no longer believed in God. I once considered myself a Christian and now I consider myself an Agnostic. Does that make me a flip-flopper? No. I had a change of perspective. I evolved, grew and changed.

I once was heterosexual and now I’m really, really not. Flip-flopper? Hell, if I had remained heterosexual I would have been a liar. Which is worse? Changing one’s mind or lying?

I used to eat all animal products, then I quite eating beef, then I started eating beef again, and now I don’t eat meat at all. Flip-flopper? No, I learned a few things that changed my perspective about eating animals.

Don’t we want a president, hell, don’t we want a society that is open to new ideas and willing to consider new information in order to make intelligent, rational and reasonable decisions? Do people have any idea how many fucked up decisions that past presidents have made that we now look at and say, “What the hell were they thinking?” Probably a million.

I’m proud of my president and I hope that all of those people who think it’s a negative thing that he changed his mind about something as important as equality for all citizens would stop and consider how much differently they think and how different of a people they are now, compared to five, ten, twenty or thirty years ago. You wouldn’t want to be that person because you’re probably much better now.

Yes we can.

Thin Mints

Did you see that video of the girl scout who was having a hissy fit because Girl Scouts of America are inclusive to transgendered girls and calling for a boycott of buying girl scout cookies this year? Really? I didn’t watch the video in its entirety but what I did see made me feel physically ill that this young woman, who was obviously heavily coached by her assumingly bigoted parents, would spew such visceral comments about something she obviously knows NOTHING about.

I wonder how she would feel if she felt that she was living in the wrong body? I wonder how she would feel if someone told her that she couldn’t be in the Girl Scouts (or any other organization) because of her ethnicity, religion or social class? What gives her the right, or anyone the right to determine that a person has to be a certain way in order to be accepted into any community? What gives any of us the right to decide that we are normal and another person is not? I’m here to say that there is not one “normal” person in this entire world. We only have what we have been socially constructed to think, believe and know and there is very little about ourselves that fits into any construct of normality, normalcy or even understanding of ourselves. Everything that is ex-centric of what society (whatever that society is,) deems acceptable is considered abnormal, but the truth is, really, anything that is centric is far from normative, but rather ex-centric from what is actually normal. This is to say that the majority of us fall outside of the box that is determined to be normative, making those outside the ones who really are the norm.

I have heard this argument before in regards to transgendered people, particularly male-to-female transgendered people and I’m very tired of it: What’s to stop a boy to “say” he’s actually a girl, dress up like a girl so that he can: play roller derby, join the girl scouts, be prom queen, star in the school play, use the ladies room? Yes. That makes perfect sense. Didn’t you know that little boys everywhere are dressing like girls, pretending to be girls, going by girls names JUST so they can have the opportunity to be in the Girl Scouts and make crafts and go camping with girls? If anyone took half a second to really, really think about what transgendered children (and adults) go through each and every day, why on earth would they go through such trouble if it weren’t for the fact that they are someone inside that doesn’t match what they are outside?

These are people that are just as normal as anyone else. They are not comfortable with the gender assigned to them at birth and they are taking steps to transition into the gender they are comfortable with. They are not freaks, they are not weird, they are not sick or diseased or mental. They are human beings. They are children: someone’s daughter or son, someone’s sister, brother, grandchild, niece, nephew, neighbor, friend. They are no different than anyone else.

Not all people are not born with either XY or XX chromosomes. Not all people are not born with either male genitalia or female genitalia. As much as we would like to believe (because it’s what we’ve been taught,) there is no such thing as a singular dichotomy or girl/boy, male/female, masculine/feminine or either gay/straight. Many and most people are on some kind of continuum of gender or sexual identity and there is nothing wrong with this. There is nothing wrong with a person who is born looking like a person who would identify as male and realizing that he or she actually identifies as female. There is nothing wrong with a girl, who is born looking like what society deems as a boy from wanting to live and act like the gender which she feels inside. There is nothing wrong with that girl wanting to do other things that girls do in our society, one of which may be to join the damn Girl Scouts.

Girl Scouts should be open to ANY girl, whether she was born a girl or self-identifies as a girl. To have it any other way is hurtful to girls and women and hurtful to our society as a whole.

I will be buying an obscene amount of Girl Scout cookies this year. I am in fact a card-carrying Girl Scout myself (Girl Scout for Life!) and am very proud of this organization for standing up for ALL girls, not just the ones that fit into some kind of stupid box. For those who are unable to see; please open up your minds for just a few minutes and put your prejudices, fears and misunderstandings aside and try to see that “these people” that you deem so strange are only people. They don’t have some agenda and they aren’t trying to be defiant to social norms or make a statement. They are just people. That little girl who wants to be a Girl Scout and do a service project and maybe go to day camp is just a little girl who is trying to fit into a place where she feels she belongs. Let’s lift her up instead of shutting her down. Let’s encourage her to be the person she is meant to be, and never settle for anything less. Let’s show some damn compassion and acceptance for people who may not fit into the same social norm as we do. Let’s buy lots of Girl Scout Cookies!

 

Happy Coming Out Day!

To all of you who have bravely come out, to the men and women in our armed forces who are finally allowed to come out and to all of you who haven’t yet made the leap.

Thanks to all of you who have written to me and told me your stories and shared your journeys.

For those of you in the Portland area who are latebians, come to The Q Center next Tuesday night for Late Awakenings!

Support GLBTQQ Youth

As you can see, I’ve turned my blog purple. I’m not leaving it just for a day or even a week, I’m leaving it this way until I feel as thoughadults are doing something to stop the violence, harassment and discrimination against queer and questioning children in this country.

Portland is not immune to this–kids are being bullied TODAY while they are trying to be in school to get an education. Teachers and parents have turned a blind eye for far too long and I’m not going to be one of them and I ask that you not either.

Please take the time to write a letter to your local school board and school administrators (even if you don’t have kids!) and let them know that you demand that the district put into place a zero tolerance policy against bullying and harassing GLBTQ students. Demand that the district give teachers the tools to educate and enlighten their students and provide a safe place for queer and questioning kids.

Don’t let another child take his or her own life. Next time, it could be a kid that you love and you will be wishing that SOMEONE would have done something. Be that someone.

Love,

RSG

**Please financially support organizations who are doing good work. There is a new link category on the right called “Support GLBTQQ Youth,” click and donate!

Prop 8 Ruling: Simply Logical

I just finished reading the Prop 8 Court Ruling. Well, I skimmed it actually but I read quite a bit of it and let me tell you all, it is fascinating. What is fascinating about it? What is fascinating is just how simple and logical it is.

Proponents for Prop 8 had several main points for keeping it in the California constitution. (I’m taking these points directly from the ruling.) Here are four of them:

Purported Interest #1: Reserving marriage as a union between a man and a woman and excluding any other relationship.

The rational behind this is: 1. “the traditional institution of marriage as the union of a man and a woman”; 2. “the traditional social and legal purpose, functions, and structure of marriage”; and 3. “the traditional meaning of marriage as it has always been defined in the English language.”

What Judge Walker said:

“Tradition alone, however cannot form a rational basis for a law . . . the state must have an interest apart from the fact of the tradition itself . . . California has eliminated all legally mandated gender roles except the requirement that a marriage consist of one man and one woman. Prop 8 thus enshrines in the California Constitution a gender restriction that the evidence shows to be nothing more than an artifact of a foregone notion that men and women fulfill different roles in civic life . . .  the evidence shows that Prop 8 harms the state’s interest in equality because it mandates that men and women be treated differently based only on antiquated and discredited notions of gender . . . the state has no interest in preferring opposite-sex couples to same-sex couples or in preferring heterosexuality to homosexuality. Moreover, the state cannot have an interest in disadvantaging an unpopular minority group simply because the group is unpopular.”

Purported Interest #2: Proceeding with caution when implementing social changes.

What Judge Walker said:

” . . . the evidence shows beyond debate that allowing same-sex couples to marry has at least a neutral, if not a positive, effect on the institution of marriage and that same-sex couples’ marriages would benefit the state. Moreover, the evidence shows that the rights of those opposed to homosexuality or same-sex couples will remain unaffected if the state ceases to enforce Prop 8 . . . Because the evidence shows same-sex marriage has and will have no adverse effects on society or the institution of marriage, California has no interest in waiting and no practical need to wait to grant marriage licenses to same-sex couples.”

Purported Interest #3: Promoting opposite-sex parenting over same-sex parenting. Proponents argue Prop 8: 1. promotes “stability and responsibility in naturally procreative relationships”; 2. promotes “enduring and stable family structures for the responsible raising and care of children by their biological parents”; 3. increases “the probability that natural procreation will occur within stable, enduring, and supporting family structure”; 4. promotes “the natural and mutually beneficial bond between parents and their biological children”; 5. increases “the probability that each child will be raised by both of his or her biological parents”; 6. increases “the probability that each child will be raised by both a father and a mother”; and 7. increases “the probability that each child will have a legally recognized father and mother.”

What RSG says: “Are they serious?”

What Judge Walker said:

“Same-sex parents and opposite=sex parents are of equal quality . . .  Prop 8 does not make it more likely that opposite-sex couples will marry and raise offspring biologically related to both parents . . . the evidence shows beyond any doubt that parent’s genders are irrelevant to children’s developmental outcomes. Moreover, Prop 8 has nothing to do with children, as Prop 8 simply prevents same-sex couples from marrying . . . Prop 8 does not affect who can or should become a parent under California law.”

Here is one of my favs:

“To the extent California has an interest in encouraging sexual activity to occur within marriage (a debateable proposition in light of Lawrence, 539 US at 571) the evidence shows Prop 9 to be detrimental to that interest. Because of Prop 8, same-sex couples are not permitted to engage in sexual activity within marriage. FF 53. Domestic partnerships, in which sexual activity is apparently expected, are separate from marriage and thus codify California’s encouragement of non-marital sexual activity. Cal Fam Code 297-299.6. To the extent proponents seek to encourage a norm that sexual activity occur within marriage to ensure that reproduction occur within stable household, Prop 8 discourages that norm because it requires some sexual activity and child-bearing and child-rearing to occur outside marriage. Proponents argue Prop8 advances a state interest in encouraging the formation of stable households. Instead, the evidence shows that Prop 8 undermines that state interest, because same-sex households have become less stable by the passage of Prop 8. The inability to marry denies same-sex couples the beneifts, including stability, attendant to marriage . . . Prop 8 makes it less likely that California children will be raised in stable households . . . the evidence shows that Prop 8 disadvantages families and their children.”

Purported Interest #4: Protecting the freedom of those who oppose marriage for same-sex couples. Proponents argue that Prop 8 1. preserves “the prerogative and responsibility of parents to provide for the ethical and moral development and education of their own children”; and 2. accommodates “the First Amendment rights of individuals and institutions that oppose same-sex marriage on religious or moral grounds.”

What Judge Walker said:

“These purported interests fail as a matter of law. Prop 8 does not affect any First Amendment right or responsibility of parents to educate their children.

What else Judge Walker said:

“A private moral view that same-sex couples are inferior to opposite=sex couples is not a proper basis for legislation.”

“California’s obligation is to treat its citizens equally, not to ‘mandate (its) own moral code’” Tradition alone cannot support legislation.

“Proposition 8 fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license. Indeed, the evidence shows Prop 8 does nothing more than enshrine in the California Constitution the notion that opposite-sex couples are superior to same-sex couples. Because California has no interest in discriminating against gay men and lesbians, and because Prop 8 prevents California from fulfilling its constitutional obligation to provide marriages on an equal basis, the court concludes that Prop 8 is unconstitutional.”

Really, is there anything left to say about this?

What basis do the proponents of Prop 8 have to appeal? They didn’t prove their case. I say bring on the Supreme Court. Let’s get this done nationwide.

RSG, the Media Critic: "The Kids Are All Right"

A couple of weeks ago I was invited to a screening of the film, “The Kids Are All Right,” starring Annette Benning and Julianne Moore. The publicity company contacted me and set me up with some sweet reserved press seats to which Cher and I were personally escorted to. This made me feel quite fancy and important and I liked the movie already. Ok, that didn’t really influence me but I did feel super posh.

I have thoughts about this movie and I’ve waited awhile to write about this until I was sure of those thoughts. If you haven’t seen the movie and don’t want to know the main storyline, don’t continue reading

The story is about a lesbian couple with two teenage children, one of who recently turned 18. The children seek out their donor and make contact with him, much to the dismay of their moms. A relationship ensues: the donor with the daughter, the donor with the son and the donor with one of the moms (Moore.)

There were things I liked: I liked the fact that the lesbian couple was portrayed with normality–they were a typical couple dealing with life and family and frankly sometimes that is difficult and dready. They loved each other but had issues to work through just like most couples. They loved their children very much and gave them a good and stable home and raised them to be seemingly good people.

The acting was glorious. The photography was amazing. It was funny and touching in many parts.

Moore and Benning actually looked like middle aged women, which is refreshing.

There were things I didn’t like:

Many parts of the movie reinforce stereotypes that we as lesbians have tried to overcome. I would like to dispell them here:

1. Lesbians do not need to watch gay porn in order to get off. Many of us enjoy watching porn of different kinds and gay porn is pretty rad but it’s not a required accoutrement to lezzie sex.

2. Lesbians are not waiting for the right guy to come along or need a good fuck to make us realize we’re not gay.

3. Although I know many lesbians who enjoy wine (myself included,) we’re not all wine lushes.

The Julianne Moore character needed someone and something in her life that happened to turn out to be in the form of some straight fucking. Her self esteem was in the tank and she was needy and vulnerable and ended up with a dude. Although I understand this was an example of sexual fluidity, I don’t think that a mainstream audience will get this message.

This movie could have been more than it was. I realize that no matter how it would have been made, there would be people who would criticize it’s authenticity and resemblance to actual lesbian relationships.Lesbian relationships are not much different than hetero relationships, which is to say that they are unique to each couple.

Here’s what I think the movie got right: Sometimes peoples relationships get off track. Sometimes people cheat on their partners. Sometimes one person in a relationship forgets how amazing the other person is. Sometimes your relationship is strong enough to overcome adversity and sometimes it isn’t. Raising children under any circumstance is difficult. Sometimes being a mother sucks. That’s just real life and real life was represented in this movie. I just wish that the movie came with footnotes.

Step Off Douchebags

Oh my God. Really. God?

I don’t know what to say.

Today my friend A. was harassed by an old woman on the campus of Portland State University while she was sitting there and minding her own business listening to her iPod. The woman started a conversation with her and asked her if she was gay. A. told her that she was and the woman began to bombard her with slurs and disgusting rhetoric.

She told her that Jesus wanted her to know that she was unwelcome.

Really?

Do these fucking douchebags even know who Jesus was? Have they READ the bible? Because I have and I can say with a fair amount of certainty that Jesus would never tell my sweet friend A. that she was unwelcome anywhere. Jesus would most likely want to hang out with A. and have a beer with her (or wine, I think Jesus liked the wine.) I can totally see Jesus and A. sitting around in their (robes) and chit chatting about life and literature and politics. A is brilliant and could talk about all kind of stuff with him (she’s also Jewish so she’d know that stuff too.) He might hit on her (because she’s pretty) and she’d blush and tell him that she’s in a long-term committed relationship with her girlfriend (also A., I need more letters.) He would say something like, “All the good ones are lesbians” and they would laugh and have another glass of wine.

Jesus would totally dig A. and that douchebag asshat old lady needs to STEP OFF.

The coincidence of all of this is that several people came to A’s side while she was being harassed by this woman and I found out later that one of those people was my darling friend Chuck who is the partner of one of Cher’s teammates.

The universe is a queer place and I find it amazing that two of my favorite people in the world would be in the same place at the same time with one of them in a vulnerable position and one of them in a position to help. I guess that is what makes balance in the world and for that I am grateful. I’m sorry that A. had to be in that place but I’m glad that Chuck was there to support her.

Now if we could get rid of all the douchebags.

I’m really tired of them. I’m tired of their rhetoric and their judgment and their lies. I’m tired of them twisting literature into what suits them and I’m tired of them hurting people.

Every night I lay my head on my wife and think about how much I love her. I don’t question that love, I don’t measure it against other people’s love. I don’t wonder if the love I have for her is right or wrong because I already know the answer.

All love is right.

And

Douchebags Be Gone.

Countdown: Summer

Four Days of School Left.

Then, Hawaii for a week and a nice summer for all. There is so much to do between now and then including my new “Body Cleanse” that I’m doing to prepare my body for a bathing suit. I have switched to a completely Vegan Diet and eliminated coffee and most sugar. I need to go to Trader Joe’s today and buy stuff that I can actually eat but seriously I feel skinnier already. (I know that’s not possible, just humor me.) Really, I’m not trying to lose weight as much as I just want to flush out all of the bad stuff from my body and see how I feel. Since turning 40 the part of my body I dislike the most (my flabby tummy) seems to have become even more flabbier than ever. I’m hoping this may help along with the Pilates I’m planning on doing later. I don’t want my body to go into shock so I should take it one step at a time.

My 12 year old daughter left today for Outdoor School. She’ll be gone all week and I’m happy for this for two reasons. One because she’ll have a great time and two, because anytime we changed the dynamics of our household slightly for a short amount of time, things seem to calm down in a weird way. I could use the calm. I’m trying to finish up my end of the year school projects and I have no motivation to do so. Right now I’m procrastinating writing a Psychology paper that is due tomorrow because I just really don’t want to do it. Sometimes I think I can’t do something and then I realize that I can. Today is one of those days. I’ll get through it and then, Summer.

It’s June. It’s PRIDE month! Even Obama made a declaration. Wow. If you identify as GLBTQ, what are you proud of? What does PRIDE mean to you? I wrote about this in my Just Out column last week, did you read it? optical communicationsIt’s here.

I’m proud of so many things. Mostly I’m proud and happy to be living my life authentically and having the love that I do. It’s so sappy but there isn’t a day that passes that I’m not grateful for the changes I made in my life. I’ve never regretted a thing and I’m thankful that everything fell into place as it has. My wish is that everyone can have the same experience of living completely. There’s a lot of Pride living your best life–and I definitely have it!

I hope everyone takes some time this Pride Month to think about what brings you pride.

Let me know what those things are!