Last night, Cher and I, along with some friends went to see the production Standing on Ceremony at the Artist Repertory Theater in Portland. It was especially wonderful because our beautiful and talented friend Torrey was performing. During intermission, two ladies approached me and asked if I was Kathryn Martini. I replied, “Yes, I am,” of course because, yes I am in fact she. Usually when someone comes up to me and asks if I’m Kathryn Martini, a little PTSD kicks in and I think it’s a process server. I was pretty sure though, that the two lovely ladies in front of me were not process servers. They definitely weren’t. One of them is an English teacher, and English teachers would never be process servers.
I said, “Yes, I am,” and they introduced themselves and said that they read my new column, “Latebian Life,” which came out yesterday in the April/May issue of PQ Monthly. One of the ladies then went on to tell me that she once emailed me. I apologized for not remembering, but she thanked me for writing this blog. She said that when she was coming out three years ago, it was very important to her and she wanted me to know. Her partner also thanked me, because if she hadn’t made it through that process, they wouldn’t be together today. I really hope they both friend me on Facebook because they were super nice!
This morning I woke to a message that said,
I just want to tell you how amazing you are, and how much you have helped me and so many others. I hope you can remember that in the midst of whatever challenges you’re facing. 6 years ago I was floundering, wondering what was happening to me and not sure what direction to take. As is often the case, I crossed paths with the very person I needed to help me understand and to move forward. Just by sharing your journey, you made my journey so much easier.
Look how far we have come! You have a gift for writing, and for promoting understanding. Thank you for sharing it.
Even though we have never met, I consider you a great friend.
I can’t even express how much these two encounters meant to me.
I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately and having a difficult time wrapping my head about some things that were presented to me this past week. One of the things that I keep dwelling on is the notion of perception and how one person’s perception of something is often vastly different than that of someone else. How something that I see as a good thing can be perversed into something heinous and no matter how many ways I try to explain or describe or circumscribe, it’s going to look ugly to someone who wants it to be ugly. I’m trying to find a way to let that go and know that I don’t have the power to change anyone else’s thoughts or actions. I can only control my own.
I want to be here for the other RSG’s and latebians that are out there. I’m glad you find your way here and if what you read here or in my columns is helpful, I’m even more grateful. I appreciate all of you who regularly email me and ask questions and share your own stories with me. Nearly eight years ago, I wouldn’t have ever imagined.
I thank you.